Woman, Do You Know?
© 1991 by Lisa Dietz
Woman
Do you know your name?
The one you had
Before the scars
Thick make-up covering
Sun-glassed face
Over red, blue, oily stains
Cropped hair in a fit of passion
Unpaid hospital bills
The broken nose, bruised ribs
Finger, elbow, knee, vagina
Nothing left untouched.
Woman
Do you know where you live?
In a suburban house
Redwood fence
Haunting memory-dream reality
Locking doors, banging walls
Wipe away the blood
Scramble for the phone
The line is dead
As the door breaks down.
Woman
Do you remember who you were?
Little girl
Whistling carefully into blades of grass
Stomping out beetles
Climbing crop-branched trees
Your fairy palace fortress
Escape the noise
A dream of being married
Raising children
A strong man
"He'll protect me
It'll be different then."
Woman
Do you see your children now?
Crouched like fetuses
Climbing beneath the covers
Stomping pillows on their ears
A wish for dreams
Praying, the way you taught them
"Please make daddy stop
Please let mommy
End the screaming."
Woman
Do you know what you really deserve?
When the time comes for apologies
Grasping the tenderness you live for
His lips wet on yours
Fingers tracing pain-lines on your face
"I'll never do it again, I promise."
DON'T BELIEVE IT.
In the dawn of reprieval
Gather what's left
Before you're dead
Choke back fear
And find your escape.